How to Comfort Someone Who’s Lost a Pet
Losing a pet is often as difficult as losing a human loved one because of the simple fact that we spend years of our lives with our pets so there is the same sense of loss.
If you know someone who recently lost a pet, you can help them recover from that loss by following these simple tips.
1 – Offer your condolences
Simply saying “I am so sorry for your loss” shows the person you care for and validates their feelings of grief.
2 – Personalize their pet
Use the pet’s name as you talk about them instead of just “your cat” or “your bird.” It lets them know you recognize their pet as part of their family.
And while phrases such as “I can’t imagine what you’re going through” might sound cliche, it does let your grieving loved one know you recognize how big their loss is and opens the door for them to share how they feel.
3 – Offer your support
Tell them you’re there for them when — and if — they need you. It might be difficult for them to reach out for help at this point and they might not even know what type of help they require. Saying “I’m here for you” lets them know they can call on you if they wish.
4 – Offer validation
Say something like “What you’re feeling is valid. You cared about [their pet’s name] and he cared about you.”
This makes it clear to your friend that you’re offering a safe space to discuss their grief and that feeling this way about the death of a pet is perfectly normal.
There are also some things you should avoid saying, such as:
Bringing up their next pet
Even if your intentions are good, asking questions like “When do you think you’ll get another dog?” can make it seem like you consider their recently deceased pet is easily replaced. The question of when to get a new pet is something they’ll need to consider on their own time.
You wouldn’t ask someone who’d just lost their husband or wife when they were going to remarry. A pet might not be human, but your friend still felt love and companionship, and another dog/cat/hamster won’t fill the void that death left behind.
Don’t say “It was just a dog”
Don’t try to minimize what happened by saying things like “At least it wasn’t a child.” Pets are living family members, even if they aren’t human. And many people think of their pets as children. When you say things like this, you’re dismissing your friend’s feelings.
“They’re in a better place”
Some pet owners believe in the concept of the “Rainbow Bridge,” an animal afterlife. But what if your friend thinks that the “better place” was “still here at home”? Not everyone believes in an afterlife, so err on the side of caution here.
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